Voks – Lanier High School (San Antonio TX)

Hey, an AI hallucination:

Doing a little more traditional research, I found out that the mascot comes from Lanier being a vocational high school. 

Now, what does a Vok look like exactly? Well, it appears AI got it right this time: “The mascot is often a personified gear, emphasizing unity and strength through participation in the school community”:

Or even more scarily:

Lanier is actually Sidney Lanier, the Confederate poet. And, yes, there was such a thing as a Confederate poet. 

He’s actually a pretty interesting fellow. War-wise, he served as a private in the Confederate army, worked on a blockade runner, and was captured & imprisoned (catching the TB that would take his life at age 39). In addition, he was very musical (as flautist, organist & composer) and was also a teacher (including at Johns Hopkins).

Interestingly, he is the namesake of 14 schools (including 1 college), a couple of lakes, a county, an island, a bridge, a scholarship at UCLA, and lots more.

The high school dates back to 1915. Currently, it has about 1,550 students, and is 95% Latino. As for that last bit, it was the first high school in the US to offer classes in mariachi music.

Also along those same lines, the school’s 1939 boys basketball team made some history by beating the local all-white high school for the city championship. Their star was all of 5’1”.

San Antonio’s big enough to have its own NBA team, so I won’t say any more about it.

And also this place 

Villains – Bishop McGuiness High School (Kernersville NC)

According to the school’s website, “Our school mascot, ‘The Villain,’ comes from our early roots at the Villa Marie Anna Academy.” 

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “villain” means “a low-born base-minded rustic; a man of ignoble ideas or instincts; in later use, an unprincipled or depraved scoundrel; a man naturally disposed to base or criminal actions, or deeply involved in the commission of disgraceful crimes.”

I’m actually pretty familiar with these guys. They’re rivals of my boys’ high school, Charlotte Catholic. 

BM’s Wikipedia page mentions four sports, along with the number of each’s state championships. Those include basketball (boys 6, girls 9), cross-country (boys 2, girls 3), tennis (boys 1) & volleyball (girls 0 - ?!?!). I see it doesn’t mention anything about football, though. Does it? Huh, losers?

Other than a pretty good athletic program, the school dates all the way back to 1959 and currently has about 455 students. If you couldn’t guess already, yes, it is indeed Catholic.

Kernersville is between Greensboro and Winston-Salem, in NC. It was settled in the mid 1700s, but incorporated only in 1873. Today, there are 26,500 inhabitants. 

Wikipedia lists 13 “notable people,” none of whom I’ve ever heard of. They do, though, include great names like Kemp Wicker, Turner Battle, DeLana Harvick & Ramelon O’Arwisters. In addition, Brent LaRue “represented Slovenia in the men's 400 meters hurdles at the 2012 Summer Olympics.”

Almost forgot … somehow or other this refugee from the Blue Man Group is their physical, on-field mascot:

Vendeens – Holy Family Academy (Manassas VA)

No, this is not a 60s girl group from Detroit. 

Instead, according to the school website: 

“The Vendeens were devout Catholics who bravely opposed the persecution of their Church and the assault on their cherished traditions during the tumultuous period of the French Revolution. Rising against the Revolutionary government in 1793, these simple yet courageous people stood firm in defense of their faith and liberty, even in the face of overwhelming odds. Above all, they defended their priests, who were hunted by the revolutionary armies.

Despite facing ruthless suppression and unimaginable atrocities, the Vendeens remained steadfast in their commitment to their Catholic beliefs and traditional values. Their unwavering resolve and sacrificial courage serve as a timeless testament to the enduring power of faith and the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity.”

The site shares this rather gory painting to illustrate:

Unfortunately, Vendeen is also the name of a dog and a sheep. So, when you Google it, you typically get stuff like this:

Or this:

It looks like the school punted when it comes to an actual mascot. This is the only possible representation I could find:

HFA is in Manassas, a suburb of DC. I grew up in the area, back when Manassas was a sleepy railroad town mostly known for its Civil War history. These days, it seems it’s mostly DC sprawl. Wikipedia lists a ton of “notable people,” but basketball star David Robinson (who attended high school – but not HFA – there) is the only one I recognize.

Interestingly, HFA is an independent Catholic school, meaning it is not sanctioned by the local bishop, nor is it accredited. It sounds like it’s super-Catholic, with obligatory attendance at daily mass, a very heavy anti-abortion message, an emphasis on “classical” education, etc. 

The school is 28 years old, and has about 240 students. It’s a K through 12, so I’m not sure if the 240 is for the high school or the whole shebang. Any way you look at it, it sounds pretty tiny. And that’s probably why what I could find on it is very limited. 

They do at least seem to offer all the regular sports though. The only major exception looks like football, which usually demands a pretty substantial student body.

I believe they call this “rugby”

Urchins – East Union High School (Blue Springs MS)

These guys, right?

Unfortunately, it’s supposed to be these instead:

So, why not say it? Also, what the heck do sea urchins have to do with a small town about 275 miles from the ocean.

So, why, Blues Springs? Why?

Well, according to yahoo!sports, their colors “resemble those of typical sea urchins.” 

If a sea urchin were a San Diego Padre, that is

Just to confuse things further, their logo features a seahorse (see above).

Historically, they were known as the Epic Urchins. Girls teams are called the Urchinettes.

So, where does all this crazy come from? 

Well, I can tell you that Blue Springs is a town of about 430 in northern Mississippi, not too far from Tupelo. It dates back to 1888, when the railroad came through. The town name comes from these (which probably don’t have any sea urchins in ‘em):

Today, BS is the site of a large Toyota manufacturing plant. For some reason, though, they seem to be very proud of their town hall.

As for East Union … Well, first, it’s not officially a high school, but an “attendance center.” That said, the “attendance center” has about 250 students. Really couldn’t find out much more about it, unfortunately. Just as an example, here is the About Us page for the school attendance center:

They do appear to have all the major sports though. They also have some interesting ones such as archery, bowling & girl’s powerlifting. In addition, they also have two cheerleading squads, one for football and one for basketball.

Though you’d never know it from the, er, attendance center’s website, it appears they have won their fair share of state championships:

It doesn’t look like there’s any physical, on-field mascot, which is a little disappointing. A big, round ball with spikes sticking out of it would have been quite the sight.

Toilers – Manual Arts High School (LA)

Boy, I wanna go there!

Manual Arts is the third oldest high school in LA, dating back to 1910. It’s located in what were once bean fields, but now is part of the inner city. Famous alums include Frank Capra, Jimmy Doolittle & Jackson Pollock.

Today, it’s got about 3,800 students, and is 80% Latino, with the rest being African-American (there are 5 whites & 4 Asians). 97% are considered “economically disadvantaged.”

They appear to offer all the regular sports. Unfortunately, I simply couldn’t find out much about them.

I couldn’t find a decent pic of it, but that basketball court has this awesome guy at midcourt:

Couldn’t find much on the origin of the mascot either, unfortunately. I guess, though, that it does go with the idea of “manual arts.” But just in case you’re not familiar with that term, it describes “the skills and knowledge involved in practical, hands-on work, often in trades and crafts, using tools and equipment.” You know, plumbers, carpenters, mechanics …

I do know that they used to be called the Artisans, which does seem a little more classy. Their mascot is Tommy Toiler, a big, bruising lad with a big hammer. Or, alternatively, this guy:

Not too surprisingly, the girls team are called the Lady Toilers. Somewhat surprisingly, the cheerleaders are know as the Toilerettes.

Which got me thinking … I’m almost certain their rivals must call them all the “Toilets.”

Toads – Thacher School (Ojai CA)

These poor people are seriously confused. Yes, their mascot is indeed a toad. 

At the same time, though, they show a winged horse on their school seal.

As for the toad, it comes from Nick Thacher, the grandson of the founder and a 1964 graduate of the school. He found the toad, and I quote, “humble and quietly persistent.” As for Pegasus … read on. 

The school dates back to 1889, and is the oldest private school west of the Mississippi. It sounds quite tony, with the original buildings on the National Register of Historic Places, alumni including Howard Hughes & Thornton Wilder, the admission rate at about 15% & fees running between $60-80K per year. There are only about 260 students.

Athletics doesn’t seem all that big, with barely a mention on their website and absolutely no mention on their Wikipedia page. The equestrian program, though, is pretty huge. In fact, it’s a requirement – freshman must ride (and take care of) a horse for at least one whole year.

Fittingly, the school is located in the rather tony city of Ojai. The city prohibits chain stores, multi-family housing units, and Airbnbs. In their place are boutiques, multiple festivals & a big tennis tournament. There’s also a wellness and “spiritual” side. It does indeed look like a beautiful place.

The city of 7,500 people is in southern California, in the mountains between Santa Barbara and Ventura. 

TigerScots – Weston-McEwen High School (Athena OR)

Tigers make a ton of sense. Scots, though rather unusual, make some sense as well. TigerScots, on the other hand, makes no freakin' sense whatsoever.

As you’ve probably guessed, though, the name simply comes from the mascots of the two schools before they merged, back in the 1970s.

The school has only 215 students. They are, though, somewhat famous for a pipe and drum corps, as well as a highland dancing team. They seem to have an athletic program, though they also seem to do their best to hide any information on it.  :^(

Sounds like they have two separate mascots, a tiger and a Scottie dog. I do like that the tiger at least has a kilt and sporran. Put a tam-o-shanter or a glengarry on him, and he could do for a single mascot.

I dunno – looks like the Esso tiger & Muttley to me

No evidence that these guys ever appear on the field in any form.

I do have to make a call out to the school yearbook, the – groan! – Paws & Claws:

Athena? It dates back to 1878, and was originally called Centerville. Today, it has about 1,100 people. It’s in the upper northeast part of the state, and is part of the Hermiston-Pendleton Micropolitan Statistical Area. It was originally settled by Scots, and hosts a yearly Caledonian games.

I don’t know, Tripadvisor, I think something might be slightly off here