Popes – Pius XI High School (Milwaukee)

Geez, usually schools like this get called stuff like Crusaders, or Saints, or Knights. But Popes? Old Italian guys known for their frailty and holiness? Doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of your opponents now, does it?

The school dates back to 1930, when Pius XI was still living. The thinking was that Pius had just celebrated his golden jubilee (50 years) in the priesthood, and was also known for his support of Christian education.  So, why not?

Currently, the school has 730 students. It’s located west of the Milwaukee city center. 

They have the usual sports, but also powerlifting (boys and girls) and Pom Poms (girls only – sorry, guys). They’ve won state titles for private schools in both boys and girls basketball.

Wikipedia lists 15 famous alumni, including one I’ve actually heard of, NASCAR driver Alan Kulwicki. Others include folks named Adamczyk, Jurewicz, Protasiewicz, and other names I can’t spell.

Extra points for driving the Hooters car

Just to top it all off, the girls teams are called Lady Popes. Believe it or not, there is a legendary female pope, one Pope Joan. Disguising herself as a man, she supposedly rose through the ranks and became the supreme pontiff. Her secret was revealed when she gave birth during a procession, then died soon after.

Even more interesting is the fact that the school’s mascot is one Sugar Bear. Seems the pope as a real, live, on-field mascot was a bit much. And, yes, he is indeed named after the cereal (and cartoon) character.

Pinelads – Lanai (HI) High School

Of course the girls teams are called the Pinelasses. Did you really need to ask?

Whoa! High school in paradise! I would have loved to have graduated from this place.

I’ve got relatives in Hawaii, so am very familiar with the Islands. I’ve never been to Lanai though.

It’s sure no Oahu, having only 3,400 people and 140 square miles. I’d love to visit, as it sounds like the real Hawaii. 

Lanai used to be owned by Dole Food, and was basically one big pineapple plantation. Today, Larry Ellison (of Oracle fame) owns 98%.

Lanai is a K-12 (the biggest one in Hawaii), and is the only school on the island. It has 630 students.

In addition to all the regular sports, LHS also sports a canoe-paddling team. I assume that means outriggers, which are super cool.

Their football team is an 8-man squad. They actually went without football for 60 years, from 1953 to 2013. Glad to hear they’re playing again, as Hawaii is football mad.

Note:  Not the whole team

The mascot could reference pineapples or pine trees. Lanai’s famous for both of them.

Peglegs – Stuyvesant (NY) High School

Wonder why they weren’t just called the Pirates?

Well, it turns out they’re not named after swashbuckling buccaneers at all, but after the Dutch governor of New York, Peter Stuyvesant. And, yes, he did lose a leg (in a battle with the Spanish), getting it replaced with a real, honest-to-goodness peg leg. He is, in fact, the original “Peg Leg Pete.”

Could they have been the Hollanders then, or the Dutchmen? Heck, how about the Bulldogs, or Eagles, or Tigers? Peglegs is just too … weird.

Stuyvesant is one of NYC’s highly competitive specialized high schools. In particular, Stuy is devoted to science and math. Their alumni include four Nobel laureates.

It’s just not nerds though. Other alumni include Eric Holder, Lucy Liu, Thelonius Monk, James Cagney, Tim Robbins, Phil Donahue, and more.

But not Farrah Fawcett

USNWR actually ranks the school 26th in the country. Dating back to 1904, it currently has about 3,300 students. It’s located in downtown Manhattan, about a half a mile from the World Trade Center.

In addition to the math, chess, and debate teams, the school also has 32 sports team. In addition to the usual suspects, they also feature bowling, fencing, cricket, handball, and ultimate frisbee.

The Petrides?

Actually, this just in ... Sounds like it might be a little bit more complicated:

"Only the football, cheerleading, badminton, girls ping pong, baseball, girls handball, girls bowling, and boys’ lacrosse teams retain the traditional Pegleg moniker; other teams have their own unique names, such as the Runnin’ Rebels (boys’ basketball), Vixens (girls’ volleyball), Lemurs (boys’ gymnastics), Phoenix (girls’ basketball), Renegades (girls’ softball), Felines (girls’ gymnastics), Birdies (girls’ golf), Eagles (boys’ golf), Hookers (boys’ bowling), Huskies (girls’ lacrosse), Penguins (girls’ swimming), Pirates (boys’ swimming), Centaurs (boys’ soccer), Mimbas (girls’ soccer), Dragons (boys’ handball), Smokin’ Aces (boys’ tennis), Sticky Fingers (boys’ and girls’ Ultimate), Lobsters (girls’ tennis), Vipers (girls’ fencing), Flying Dutchmen (hockey), Greyducks (track), Tigers (cricket) and Spartans (wrestling and roller hockey)."

Given all that, I've changed my mind - Peglegs is just fine.

Orphans – Centralia (IL) High School

So, that’s what an orphan looks like, huh?

Centralia is actually not all that central. The town of 12,000 is in southern Illinois. It was actually named after the Illinois Central RR, way back in 1859.

Centralia has a couple of claims to fame. For one, it used to produce the PayDay candy bar. Second, it was the site of a terrible mining disaster, with 111 casualties. The town also has its own philharmonic, hosts a Balloon Fest, and is also the site of a state prison. An odd collection of facts, I know.

Plus this tower thing

Of their 28 “notable people” on Wikipedia, I actually know a couple. Do note, though, that that does not include Ora A. Oldfield, Dottie Wham, and Smiley Quick.

Smiley was a golfer

The high school has over 800 students. On the athletic side, it was the first high school in Illinois to win 2,000 games (in basketball).

Now, about that mascot … Turns out it originated in the 1940s when a sportswriter commented that the team looked like orphans because of their mismatched uniforms. Previously, the team was known as the Cardinals, Redbirds, and Troutmen.

I have no idea about that last one. A quick search on Google Images gives me lots of pix with fish and fishermen, but also a bunch for a Swedish rock band,

By the way, the Orphans are only for the boys teams. The girls are called the Annies.

Finally, the Orphans were once voted Most Unique Mascot in the country by USA Today.

Noises – Nathan Hale-Ray High School (Moodus CT)

Well, I guess they coulda been the Smells.

So, would you believe that “the Moodus area is known for its low-level seismic activity, so the high school is the Noises — meant to underscore strange, underground rumblings”? That’s from Sport Illustrated, so I know it’s true.

Moodus is a census-designated place of not quite 2,000. It dates back to 1662, when Puritans bought the land from the Indians. The latter called it Matchitmoodus, “the place of the noises.” The noises supposedly come from seismic activity. They’re actually featured in H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Dunwich Horror.”

The town is also famous for twine. Yup, you heard me right. Twine. Back in the 1800s, there were no less than 12 twine mills in operation in the town. At the time, Moodus was known as the “Twine Capital of the World.”

The high school has about 260 students. They’ve got 13 sports, including “unified sports” (???) and “co-op football” (they play with another high school).

 

C’mon, Moodus! Let’s make some noise!

Nimrods – Watersmeet (MI) High School

According to the school, a “nimrod” is a mighty hunter, from a reference in the Bible. According to Merriam-Webster, a “nimrod” is an “idiot, jerk.” Google AI clears it up for us: “The name Nimrod originally referred to a successful hunter, but over time it became an insult.” It doesn’t explain why though.

It has nothing to do with this

But why the hunter thing? It does sound like that’s a big thing thereabouts. The town is in the middle of the Ottawa National Forest, and about as rural as it gets.

Watersmeet’s in the UP, right on the border with Wisconsin. It’s got about 1,500 people, including the whole Lac Vieux Desert Indian Reservation (Ojibwe). The rez has its own casino and golf course.

The school has about 75 students, and is about 70% Native American. Sportswise, they’ve got basketball, 8-man football, soccer, softball, volleyball, and wrestling.

So, it actually appears that these guys are famous. They’ve been:

• The subject of a Sundance Channel documentary, Nimrod Nation
• In an ESPN commercial (“Without sports, who would cheer for the Nimrods?”)
• On the Jay Leno show

The mascot dates all the way back to the 1930s. Sounds like they’ve made more than a half million on merch.

Mushers – Camas County High School (Fairfield ID)

Yes, it is cold up there. No, they do not have sled dogs. Yes, this is Idaho. No, that’s different from Alaska. Yes, this mascot doesn’t necessarily make that much sense.

Camas County has only about 1,000 people, though it is located in the center of the state. Fairlfield’s the county seat, and has about a quarter of the county’s population (410 people). It looks very pretty there:

Further, it sounds like there’s a lot of fun things to do. I’m talking skiing (Sun Valley is pretty close by), fly fishing, kayaking, mountain biking … The Sawtooth Scenic Byway, supposedly one of the prettiest drives in the US, is also nearby.

Looks like the high school has only 66 students. Somehow or other, they managed to win three state titles in girls volleyball and one in boys basketball. 

Real Dairy Shootout?

And they also have a football team! Looks like it’s one of those 8-men-per-side deals.

I’m sure it’s no-cut too.