MightyMen – Dunbar (IL) Vocational Career Academy High School (whew!)

I’ll give you 10-1 odds they’re called the MightyMights by their opponents. Wanna bet?

Dunbar is a vocational high school in the southside of Chicago. It’s named after Paul Laurence Dunbar, an African–American author. Honestly, though, he doesn’t look particularly mighty:

Slightly depressed, sure. Mighty, no.

It doesn’t appear he has any connection with Chicago either. Or with ancient Egypt, for that matter. (Honestly, why aren’t these guys the Pharaohs?).

Anyway, the school was founded in 1942, with the current building dating back to 1955. 

Today, it has only 330 students and features a mere 4 sports. Back in the day, though, the MightyMen notched 15 CPL (Chicago public school) titles in 5 different sports (but especially track & field). They also featured some famous alumni, like Bernard Shaw (CNN), Lou Rawls, and even Mr T himself.

Mighty!

Like our Marshmen from a couple of weeks ago, though, the MightyMen mascot is terribly gendered, and might cause some problems in these politically correct times we live in. To wit, are their female athletes called MightyLadies, MightyWomen, Lady MightyMen, MightyPeopleWithVaginas?

I’m afraid that’s not helping any

Meloneers – Rocky Ford (CO) Junior Senior High School

“Eer” I get. You know, charioteers, buccaneers, profiteers, racketeers, mutineers, mouseketeers …

The “melon” part, not so much.

Actually, though, there is some logic behind this one. In fact, Rocky Ford has been called the “sweet melon capital,” “Watermelon Metropolis,” and “Melon Capital of the World.”

And why is that, you may ask. Turns out Rocky Ford’s melons are the sweetest in the country, for several reasons:

• Change in temperature from day to night (the biggest in the country)
• Lack of excess water
• High mineral content of the clay soil

According to the town website, Lucille Ball “was reportedly such a fan she had Rocky Ford melons delivered to her dressing room.”

The town itself? It was founded in 1871 by one G.W. Swink. Today, it has a population of 3,900. It’s in the southeast part of the state (i.e., super flat), on the Arkansas River. And would you believe they’ve been holding a Watermelon Day there for almost 150 years?

The high school is small, with only about 275 students. They still manage to field nine different teams, including football. Their wrestling team is top notch. From 1976 to 1990, they won 10 state wrestling championships.

And then there’s that mascot. The city’s website calls it a “muscular melon,” which it most surely is. Kinda angry too.

The school really plays it up. Their motto is “Fear the melon.” And indoor sports are played in the Melondome. Gotta love it.

Gee, thanks, Mr. Getty

Martians – Goodrich (MI) High School

So, these Martians are supposed to be named for Mars, the Roman god of war.

I don’t know … You wanna tell ‘em?

Interestingly, they were formerly the Gladiators. Hey, if it ain’t broke …

Well, it is good to see at least the robotics team owning the obvious.

Goodrich? It’s a town of 2,000, in the Flint metropolitan area. And, yes, Flint does indeed appear to have a metropolitan area. Here’s a shot of the Goodrich metropolitan area:

Oddly, the town is named for the first settler, one John, who arrived in 1835. I was assuming it had to be an automotive reference (you know, to BFGoodrich). I mean, we’re talking the Motor City area here, right? Unfortunately, that Goodrich is located in Akron.

Looks like the high school has the same population as the city, 2,000. They’ve got one famous alum, Kyle Elsworth, a 2-time state champ in wrestling, linebacker at Michigan State, and MVP of the 2014 Rose Bowl. Geez, Kyle, couldn’t you have at least made it to the NFL? The school features plenty of sports, including golf, bowling, and equestrian.

Good Lord!  What is that thing?

BTW, don’t get our Goodrich High School with the Goodrich High School in SD or TX. Respectively, they’re the Hornets and Dragons. Hey, that last one isn’t too bad, you know?

Marshmen – Horicon (WI) High School

I’m 99.9% sure their opponents like to call them the Marshmallows.

Yes, Horicon is a real place. In fact, it’s just south of Fond du Lac, which we covered a couple of weeks ago. I’ll bet it’s a real event when the Marshmen take on the Ledgers. 

The town’s got about 3,600 people. Sounds like the main claim to fame is a John Deere factory. As well as this, apparently …

And, yes, there is a marsh. Supposedly, tourists flock there to see the Canadian geese. 

Breathtaking!

The school’s got about 300 kids. Couldn’t find out much else on it.

I do know they have a particularly lame live mascot though.

Kinda looks like Mr. Mayhem from those Allstate commercials

Plus, they have to deal with this issue:

Marsh Women? Marsh Maids? Marsh Ladies? Lady Marshmen?

Mainstreeters – Sauk Centre (MI) High School

Would you believe this is a literary allusion?

Yup, it’s after native son Sinclair Lewis’s novel Main Street. Seeing as the book’s a rather biting satire of small-town life, I’m not sure what the town fathers had in mind here. Well, at least they’re not the Babbits.

Sauk Centre, called Gopher Prairie in the novel, is a city of 4,500 right in the center of the state, about midway between Minneapolis and Fargo. They really play up the Lewis connection – the library, 2 sculptures, a street, his boyhood home, murals, a festival, a campground, etc., etc.

Wikipedia lists 10 notable people, though Lewis is the only one I’ve heard of. That said, I must admit, though, to a particular liking for Ody J Fish and Sylvester Uphus.

Sylvester

The high school has a little over 300 students.  I’m afraid I couldn’t find all that much on it.

Ledgers – St Mary’s Spring Academy (Fond du Lac, WI)

Preparing students for the exciting world of certified public accountancy for over 100 years!

Actually, the mascot points simply to the school’s location on The Ledge, a local geographical feature (kind of like a bluff, I guess). Huh! Well, that explanation’s even more boring than certified public accountancy.

Fond du Lac is a city of 45,000 people, about halfway between Milwaukee and Green Bay. It’s on the rather large Lake Winnebago. In fact, the name is French for “bottom of the lake.” Do mind, though, that denotes a location, not underwater, but on the lake’s southern shore.

The city dates back to 1836. It’s the headquarters of Mercury Marine, which make boat motors. It’s also home to a walleye festival, as well as the world’s largest fondue pot. You betcha!

Wikipedia lists over 100 “notable people.” I’ve only heard of one, though – Colin Kaepernick. That said, he was actually born in Milwaukee and only lived in FDL up to age 4.

As for the school, it dates back to 1901. Over the years, it’s been a sanitarium, a girls boarding school, and (its current manifestation) a co-ed Catholic day school. It was founded by the Sisters of St Agnes and is currently part of the wonderfully named FACES (Fond du Lac Area Catholic Education System).

They really push the ledge idea – mascot, magazine, etc., etc. My fave, though, is the on-site chapel, Our Lady of the Ledge.

The school’s got 900 students, and is something of an athletic powerhouse. They’ve got 36 state championships to their name, including 17 in football.

Not totally sure what the mascot is supposed to be.

Based on his outfit and the pick in the logo, though, I’m guessing it has something to do with mining.

Lawyers – John Marshall High School (Cleveland)

I understand they overwhelm their opponents with their hourly rates.

John Marshall was indeed a lawyer. He was also a Founding Father and the longest-serving chief justice. I don’t think, though, that he has any association with Cleveland, or Ohio for that matter.

That said, there was a law school named after him in the city. Now, it was on the other side of Cleveland … It also no longer exists, becoming subsumed into the Cleveland State Law School. 

The high school dates back to 1931. These days, it’s made up of three schools – for leadership, engineering, and IT.

Notable alumni include a couple of NFLers and actor Franklin Cover, from The Jeffersons.

There are actually several other John Marshall Highs out there. Just doing a quick Google search, I’m finding them in West Virginia, Minnesota, Chicago, Milwaukee, Richmond, Oklahoma City, San Antonio, Los Angeles ... And that gives us some standard mascots like Bears, Rams & Eagles, as well as less likely ones such as Rockets, Pride & Commandos.

More in line with our Lawyers, though, are the Justices (Richmond) and Barristers (LA). That last one might be familiar, as it’s been in multiple movies & TV shows, including Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Boy Meets World, iCarly, Who’s the Boss? Grease, A Nightmare on Elm Street, School of Rock, Pretty in Pink  …

Pretty in Pink