Kewpies – Hickman High School (Columbia MO)

A Kewpie is a naked smiling baby created in 1909 by Rose O’Neill, an Ozark, Missouri, resident, as a comic strip character and later turned into paper dolls and figurines. The Kewpie was first printed in Ladies’ Home Journal in December 1909. O’Neill described the Kewpie characters as "little round fairies whose objective is to teach people to be merry and kind at the same time."

So, in another words, a perfect idea to strike fear into the hearts of one’s opponents.

Columbia is a city of 130,000 people, home to the University of Missouri, and almost smack dab in the middle of the state.

Hickman dates back to 1927, and is one of the largest high schools in Missouri. Famous alumni include Sam Walton, Kenneth Lay, various congressmen and a Nobel Prize winner.

Ken Lay, yearbook photo

It’s in the top 5% of high schools nationwide, and has the most presidential scholars in the state. There are no less than 20 Wikipedia pages talking all about it!

Now, for that mascot … It dates all the way back to 1912, when Kewpie dolls were actually a thing. We’ve got two possibilities for this one:

• “Apparently, the school secretary owned a Kewpie doll, as they were popular figurines then, and she kept it on her desk. At one of the first basketball games in December 1913 she placed her Kewpie doll in the center of the court, and the entire game was played around it without it being broken. This was somewhat remarkable since the dolls were very fragile. Because it survived the game and brought a victory, it was thereafter considered the good luck mascot.”
• “The Kewpie first appeared in the Cresset [the school yearbook] in 1914 in a dedication to the basketball team, whose loyalty to the school and to the Kewpie motto to keep smiling has won the state championship.”

The first one sounds a but much, so I’m goin’ with the latter. Maybe the secretary was involved somehow. I don’t know.

Looks like they’ve got multiple mascots, one smiling and one not.

There are also some older – and weirder – ones out there as well.

 

With that last one giving off some serious psycho killer vibes.

Jungaleers – Southeastern High School (Detroit, MI)

No, not the Juggalos, the Jungaleers!

This school dates back to 1917. At that time, it was actually pretty far out of town – ya know, kinda out in the jungle.

The only other time the word “jungaleers” is used is to – rarely – define military that fight in the jungle. In that case, it actually goes well with several other Detroit high school mascots that have a military theme as well – Aviators, Doughboys, Pilots, Tars …

This one oughta really be in here too

Be that as it may, the school’s mascot is actually a lion, a purple lion.

The school’s official name is actually Southeastern High School of Technology and Law (a recent change). Wikipedia lists 17 famous alumni, including actress Betty Hutton and basketballer Ralph Simpson (as well as Gmac Cash & Dej Loaf, whoever they may be). 

It’s hard to believe, but the school has only 160 students. That’s quite a drop from even as recent as 2008, when there were 2,400. Sadly, 87% of the students are economically disadvantaged.

One final note … Southeastern’s main building has to be one of the finest out there. Would love to know a little bit more about it.

Jugglers – Notre Dame Schools (Utica, NY)

So, after band practice, I’ve got Model UN. Then, I’ve got my calculus homework, and also studying for that economics exam. Oh geez! I totally forgot all about that stupid Engilsh paper!

So, this one is a bit of a stretch. According to the school’s website, the name was suggested by the school’s first principal, one Brother Hilary. It’s rather wild, so let me just repeat it in full:

“Once there was a very talented juggler named Barnabe who had tired of wandering up and down the roads of France and decided that it would be better if he were to dedicate his life to God, as a monk. He entered the monastery with which he was familiar and quite happy. Now, it was the custom of the monastery to do things in honor of the Blessed Mother. One monk would write poetry, another would sculpt, another would paint, and so on. The Juggler could do nothing like this and became quite despondent. Then suddenly he was happy again. Soon the Prior began to notice that Barnabe would disappear every day for about an hour. He wondered what the Juggler was doing and followed him. The Juggler went into the chapel and proceeded to do all of his juggling tricks in front of the statue of Our Lady and before the horrified eyes of the Prior. He ran and got the Abbot to see the sacrilege that was being committed in the chapel. But when they both started up the aisle to stop the Juggler they saw the statue come to life and Our Lady wipe the sweat off the brow of the Juggler.”

Hmm … Still don’t get it.

Turns out it really is a thing. The legend has inspired a story by Anatole France, several books, a couple of movies & TV shows, an opera, and a ballet.

Interestingly, it is also the title of the literary journal of the real Notre Dame (i.e., the one in South Bend).

Still, I can’t imagine why anyone would possibly think this would make a good mascot.

Altogether, the schools have 600 students, from Pre-K to 12th grade. The high school dates back to 1959. It includes 6 famous alumni, 2 of whom I’ve heard of – baseball player Mark Lemke & pollster John Zogby.

It is, of course, a Catholic school. Tuition for the high school is pushing $17,000 a year. In the one athletic highlight I could find, the 2024 girls basketball team won the state title.

The Jugglers appear to have a couple of renditions of the mascot:

I think I prefer the second one.

Oh, Utica? It’s just another Rust Belt city. 

Jeffs – Fairbury (NE) Junior/Senior High School

I understand their arch-rivals are the Brians, though the Kenneths are certainly up there as well.

Well, this one is actually pretty straightforward. Fairbury just so happens to be the seat of Jefferson County. 

It’s the mascot itself that needs some ‘splainin’. Ever heard the phrase “Mutt and Jeff” in reference to two mismatched friends (usually in height)? No?!? 

Well, anyway, Mutt and Jeff were two cartoon characters of just such an appearance. 

Now, those two happened to appear in newspapers (remember those?) back in the early 20th Century. Not much help in clarifying things, I know, but it does help explain why Fairbury may have picked Jeff as a mascot when they did, way back in the 1930s. They were formerly known as the Crimson. The official name of the mascot, by the way, is “the Jeff Man.”

Fairbury is a town of not quite 4,000, in the SE corner of state.  It was founded, in 1872, as a railroad town, and once included a yard and a roundhouse.

Wikipedia lists 10 “notable people,” including “professional mixed martial artist and [gay] pornographic actor” Dakota Cochrane.

The high school has 380 students and 33 teachers.

Couldn’t find out much about the school or their athletics, but they do have an awesome mascot.

And, wouldn’t ya know, the girls teams are indeed called the Lady Jeffs.