Popes – Pius XI High School (Milwaukee)

Geez, usually schools like this get called stuff like Crusaders, or Saints, or Knights. But Popes? Old Italian guys known for their frailty and holiness? Doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of your opponents now, does it?

The school dates back to 1930, when Pius XI was still living. The thinking was that Pius had just celebrated his golden jubilee (50 years) in the priesthood, and was also known for his support of Christian education.  So, why not?

Currently, the school has 730 students. It’s located west of the Milwaukee city center. 

They have the usual sports, but also powerlifting (boys and girls) and Pom Poms (girls only – sorry, guys). They’ve won state titles for private schools in both boys and girls basketball.

Wikipedia lists 15 famous alumni, including one I’ve actually heard of, NASCAR driver Alan Kulwicki. Others include folks named Adamczyk, Jurewicz, Protasiewicz, and other names I can’t spell.

Extra points for driving the Hooters car

Just to top it all off, the girls teams are called Lady Popes. Believe it or not, there is a legendary female pope, one Pope Joan. Disguising herself as a man, she supposedly rose through the ranks and became the supreme pontiff. Her secret was revealed when she gave birth during a procession, then died soon after.

Even more interesting is the fact that the school’s mascot is one Sugar Bear. Seems the pope as a real, live, on-field mascot was a bit much. And, yes, he is indeed named after the cereal (and cartoon) character.

Pinelads – Lanai (HI) High School

Of course the girls teams are called the Pinelasses. Did you really need to ask?

Whoa! High school in paradise! I would have loved to have graduated from this place.

I’ve got relatives in Hawaii, so am very familiar with the Islands. I’ve never been to Lanai though.

It’s sure no Oahu, having only 3,400 people and 140 square miles. I’d love to visit, as it sounds like the real Hawaii. 

Lanai used to be owned by Dole Food, and was basically one big pineapple plantation. Today, Larry Ellison (of Oracle fame) owns 98%.

Lanai is a K-12 (the biggest one in Hawaii), and is the only school on the island. It has 630 students.

In addition to all the regular sports, LHS also sports a canoe-paddling team. I assume that means outriggers, which are super cool.

Their football team is an 8-man squad. They actually went without football for 60 years, from 1953 to 2013. Glad to hear they’re playing again, as Hawaii is football mad.

Note:  Not the whole team

The mascot could reference pineapples or pine trees. Lanai’s famous for both of them.

Peglegs – Stuyvesant (NY) High School

Wonder why they weren’t just called the Pirates?

Well, it turns out they’re not named after swashbuckling buccaneers at all, but after the Dutch governor of New York, Peter Stuyvesant. And, yes, he did lose a leg (in a battle with the Spanish), getting it replaced with a real, honest-to-goodness peg leg. He is, in fact, the original “Peg Leg Pete.”

Could they have been the Hollanders then, or the Dutchmen? Heck, how about the Bulldogs, or Eagles, or Tigers? Peglegs is just too … weird.

Stuyvesant is one of NYC’s highly competitive specialized high schools. In particular, Stuy is devoted to science and math. Their alumni include four Nobel laureates.

It’s just not nerds though. Other alumni include Eric Holder, Lucy Liu, Thelonius Monk, James Cagney, Tim Robbins, Phil Donahue, and more.

But not Farrah Fawcett

USNWR actually ranks the school 26th in the country. Dating back to 1904, it currently has about 3,300 students. It’s located in downtown Manhattan, about a half a mile from the World Trade Center.

In addition to the math, chess, and debate teams, the school also has 32 sports team. In addition to the usual suspects, they also feature bowling, fencing, cricket, handball, and ultimate frisbee.

The Petrides?

Actually, this just in ... Sounds like it might be a little bit more complicated:

"Only the football, cheerleading, badminton, girls ping pong, baseball, girls handball, girls bowling, and boys’ lacrosse teams retain the traditional Pegleg moniker; other teams have their own unique names, such as the Runnin’ Rebels (boys’ basketball), Vixens (girls’ volleyball), Lemurs (boys’ gymnastics), Phoenix (girls’ basketball), Renegades (girls’ softball), Felines (girls’ gymnastics), Birdies (girls’ golf), Eagles (boys’ golf), Hookers (boys’ bowling), Huskies (girls’ lacrosse), Penguins (girls’ swimming), Pirates (boys’ swimming), Centaurs (boys’ soccer), Mimbas (girls’ soccer), Dragons (boys’ handball), Smokin’ Aces (boys’ tennis), Sticky Fingers (boys’ and girls’ Ultimate), Lobsters (girls’ tennis), Vipers (girls’ fencing), Flying Dutchmen (hockey), Greyducks (track), Tigers (cricket) and Spartans (wrestling and roller hockey)."

Given all that, I've changed my mind - Peglegs is just fine.