Slicers – LaPorte (IN) High School

I was assuming this came from a local reporter who wrote that the team “sliced and diced” their opponent. But I was wrong!

Instead, AI is telling me it “comes from the town's connection to the meat-slicing industry, particularly the Berkel Meat Slicer, which was invented by butcher Wilhelmus Adrianus van Berkel and manufactured in La Porte in the early 1900s.”

So, more corporate cringe, I guess. 

That’s unfortunate, as La Porte actually has a lot more going on than the Berkel Meat Slicer. For one, the city’s got over 21,000 people. For another, it’s also the home of the Advance-Rumely Company, makers of the Oil-Pull tractor engine. So, um, er ... Slicers it is!

La Porte’s in the northwest part of the state, on the Michigan border, and just east of Gary. It’s also known as the “Maple City.” So, maybe the Maple Leafs? You know, like the hockey team? In Canada somewhere?

They’ve got a ton of “notable people” on Wikipedia. Unfortunately, I’m only familiar with one of them. And that’s Belle Gunness, a female serial killer.

She killed all 3 – and many more

The high school is packed, with over 1,850 students. Interestingly, one of their alumni is the pretty famous Japanese-American artist and designer Isamu Noguchi. 

With such a large student body, it’s still surprising that they actually field 57 teams. How do they do that? Well, would you believe they’ve got 13 separate basketball teams (including JV, sophomore and varsity co-ed)?

I love it!

Shiretowners – Houlton (ME) High School

No, this is not a Tolkien reference.

Instead, it refers to the fact that Houlton is the seat of Aroostook County. Wait, what?

Well, it’s a little convoluted, so bear with me … First, the British have counties too. They often, though, call them “shires.” And the “capital” or “seat” of a county/shire is typically called the “county town” or “shire town.”

Unfortunately, Houlton was fouded after the Revolutionary War, so it was never really British. Same thing goes for Aroostock County. So, there goes that theory …

Any controversy surrounding the source of that mascot pales in comparison, though, to that around a change in the actual mascot on the field. It was formerly a penguin, but is now – gasp! – a judge.

I mean both do fit (it gets pretty darn cold up there in northern Maine), right?

Houlton? It’s got about 6,000 folks and is right on the Canadian border. Its main claims to fame include being the:

• Terminus of I-95
• Site of an air base
• Hometown of Samantha Smith, a cute little preteen who was a goodwill ambassador to the USSR during the Cold War

Aroostook? Well, would you believe it’s the second largest county east of the Mississippi? Heck, it takes up all of the northernmost part of the state:

The county (or shire or what have you) is mostly famous for potatoes.

The high school? Well, it’s home to not quite 400 students. Couldn’t find out much more on it, I’m afraid.

One thing I do know is that you don’t want to confuse it with the Houlton School, in Rugby, England:

It’s the UK, so they have uniforms there, and not just for the athletes.

The Shiretowners?. Well, first of all, they’re usually called the Shires. A little easier on the tongue, no? Fits on a jersey better too.

Shells – Roxana (IL) High School

I’m afraid this one’s a little cringey. The Shells are named after Shell Oil, who started an oil refinery there. Kind of like naming your child after your boss, you know?

Ironically, the refinery, which is still running strong, is now owned by Conoco-Phillips. I guess they should change their name to the Phillies (or Connies) then.

And would you believe the town was named by Shell as well? It’s actually named after a Shell-owned company, the Roxana Petroleum Company, in Texas. Like I say, cringe.

Roxana’s got about 1,500 people. It’s in the southern part of Illinois, very close to the Mississippi and just north of St. Louis. Not seeing too much going on there other than the refinery. Here’s a shot of the hoppin’ downtown:

It’s kinda hard to escape that huge refinery though. Here, for example, is a pic of the high school, belly up to some oil tanks:

The school’s got about 500 students. They offer 10 sports for both boys and girls. The football team happens to have one of the more interesting helmets I’ve seen out there.

Sort of reminds me of the Arizona state flag:

And here’s their rather cringey mascot:

Now, what I want to know is why these poor folks aren’t the Oilers, or the Roughnecks, or the Drillers, or … anything other than the corporate Shells that they are?

Scoopers – Sturgis (SD) Brown High School

As you probably already know, Sturgis is famous for a yearly motorcycle rally. Hard to believe, but the town of 7,000 swells to almost half a million during Bike Week.

Given that, I was thinking the mascot would be more like the Hell’s Angels, Devil’s Disciples, Sons of Satan, or something nice and gang-y like that.

Whence Scoopers? Well, we’ve got a couple of possibilities.

My old friend Google AI tells me that, “The nickname ‘Scoopers’ originated in the late 1800s when cavalrymen stationed at nearby Fort Meade referred to Sturgis as ‘Scooptown,’ claiming the merchants ‘scooped’ them every payday.”

Yahoo!Sports has a slightly different take: “Sturgis was originally an off-site encampment for a number of prospectors at nearby Deadwood, and they often rolled into town to partake in Sturgis' benefits. Namely, scoopers who would scoop money out of the prospectors pockets in exchange for, well, you know.”

Sports Illustrated throws out a third theory. In this one, the soldiers would get so drunk that they would have to be scooped off the streets. 

I’m not sure any of those is all that inspiring, Maybe they should just go with the Death Demons, or Warlocks from Hell, or something else like that.

Interestingly, it sounds like scooping predated the fort, with Sturgis being originally called Scooptown. Don’t exactly know where to go with that one.

It doesn’t look like Sturgis is famous for much other than those bikers. Wikipedia lists 13 “notable people” – including Bobby Buntrock, Pappy Hoel, and Poker Alice – but I’m afraid I haven’t heard of any of them.

Something to do with the Star-Spangled Banner

As for the school, they’ve got a little over 800 students. They field 8 sports, all of them pretty standard. 

It is indeed brown

Their mascot is called Scooper Sam. Here’s a little different version than the one at the top: